FINALLY! This is what I've been waiting all summer for! The tears! The agony! The self doubt and despair! Poor Brooks. Someone get this man a balcony to cry on for heaven's sake!
I LOVE it! This just got real, people. This just got real.
Poor sweet dumb Des. She's sorta clueless. "Today is just going to be Brooksy and meee.... hand in hand, stress-free, no worries, sunshine and lollipops.... He almost doesn’t have to tell me that he loves me for me to know. It’s unspoken.” Yeah, well? Not so much Des.
(So do you think I’m awful if I admit to thinking it was just a little bit funny?)
Chris Harrison, trying to look like a concerned therapist, is thanking whatever gods make good Reality TV, as Brooks bears his tortured soul. “Are you not sure? Or are you telling me ‘I am not in love with this girl?’ Are you 100 percent sure she is not the girl for you, even with more time?” TRANSLATION: "Is there any possible way you could break her heart after the show? You've had a total of at least 48 hours together. How much more time do you need?"
Brooks eventually works his way around to a semi-coherent answer. "I feel like I've come to a conclusion where I don't think that Des is the love of my life," he says finally. "That's what's so difficult."
OMG! He’s really gonna dump her! Now we’re getting somewhere!
Thus begins the long goodbye. And I mean looooooong.
Using no complete sentences whatsoever, he tells her there are all these things he loves about her, “But y’know, feelings, more time, better person, y’know. Checked stuff off, y’know.”
Desiree: “What are you saying?”
Brooks: "I spend that time away from you and it takes me a while when I see you again to be like, 'Oh yeah, that's what we have.'"
Desiree: “But I made you a LIST!”
Brooks: "Y’know, I really want to be madly in love with you, y’know? But I just… y’know… not...."
(Seriously. They should have subtitled this whole thing. I could barely hear them through the sobbing.)
Desiree: "But I LOVE YOU! I told you I was running, and then after that I knew I was at the finish line!"
Brooks: (shocked) "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?"
(Insert screeching halt sound here)
Waaaait a second Brooksy Boy. If you knew you’re never going to love her enough to marry her, why would it have mattered if she had told you she loved you before? Were you holding back your feelings in case she loved someone more and you'd be dumped? Couldn't you have lied to yourself a little bit longer? You could have proposed and broken up with her after the show was over like NORMAL PEOPLE!
Desiree: "Do you want to know why I was conflicted throughout this whole thing? Because I didn't want to share my heart ~ I wanted to give it to you! All that time I was rolling around nearly naked on the beach with Chris, all I could think about was YOU! Every time I kissed Drew and touched his hard hair, all I could think about was your luscious locks! Those two nights in the Fantasy Suite... I pretended it was YOU!"
Oh for heaven’s sake. Can this be over please? So we leave Des sobbing in a ball on the dock, and a wild haired Brooks sobbing in circles. “Worst day of my life! Way worse than I thought it was going to be,” he whimpers. “Those moments, y’know? I miss them already. I miss them a lot."
Poor tortured soul. I have to give him props for his honesty though. But what’s next? Is he going to go home then realize too late that he does love her? Will he come running back to her in slow motion, arms outstretched, with his hair streaming out behind him, and the music swelling against a backdrop of tears?
And what about the other two guys? Will she pick a consolation husband or will she break up with them before it gets that far? Or are they going to break up with her?! Is she going to walk away single, alone, all emo and bitter? WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN? I can’t stand the suspense!
ps...
Dear Two Other Guys Whose Names I Can Barely Remember,
Seems Des just wasn't that into you. Like, at all. Ouch. That's gotta hurt.
I LOVE it! This just got real, people. This just got real.
Poor sweet dumb Des. She's sorta clueless. "Today is just going to be Brooksy and meee.... hand in hand, stress-free, no worries, sunshine and lollipops.... He almost doesn’t have to tell me that he loves me for me to know. It’s unspoken.” Yeah, well? Not so much Des.
(So do you think I’m awful if I admit to thinking it was just a little bit funny?)
Chris Harrison, trying to look like a concerned therapist, is thanking whatever gods make good Reality TV, as Brooks bears his tortured soul. “Are you not sure? Or are you telling me ‘I am not in love with this girl?’ Are you 100 percent sure she is not the girl for you, even with more time?” TRANSLATION: "Is there any possible way you could break her heart after the show? You've had a total of at least 48 hours together. How much more time do you need?"
Brooks eventually works his way around to a semi-coherent answer. "I feel like I've come to a conclusion where I don't think that Des is the love of my life," he says finally. "That's what's so difficult."
OMG! He’s really gonna dump her! Now we’re getting somewhere!
Thus begins the long goodbye. And I mean looooooong.
Using no complete sentences whatsoever, he tells her there are all these things he loves about her, “But y’know, feelings, more time, better person, y’know. Checked stuff off, y’know.”
Desiree: “What are you saying?”
Brooks: "I spend that time away from you and it takes me a while when I see you again to be like, 'Oh yeah, that's what we have.'"
Desiree: “But I made you a LIST!”
Brooks: "Y’know, I really want to be madly in love with you, y’know? But I just… y’know… not...."
(Seriously. They should have subtitled this whole thing. I could barely hear them through the sobbing.)
Desiree: "But I LOVE YOU! I told you I was running, and then after that I knew I was at the finish line!"
Brooks: (shocked) "Why didn't you tell me that earlier?"
(Insert screeching halt sound here)
Waaaait a second Brooksy Boy. If you knew you’re never going to love her enough to marry her, why would it have mattered if she had told you she loved you before? Were you holding back your feelings in case she loved someone more and you'd be dumped? Couldn't you have lied to yourself a little bit longer? You could have proposed and broken up with her after the show was over like NORMAL PEOPLE!
Desiree: "Do you want to know why I was conflicted throughout this whole thing? Because I didn't want to share my heart ~ I wanted to give it to you! All that time I was rolling around nearly naked on the beach with Chris, all I could think about was YOU! Every time I kissed Drew and touched his hard hair, all I could think about was your luscious locks! Those two nights in the Fantasy Suite... I pretended it was YOU!"
Oh for heaven’s sake. Can this be over please? So we leave Des sobbing in a ball on the dock, and a wild haired Brooks sobbing in circles. “Worst day of my life! Way worse than I thought it was going to be,” he whimpers. “Those moments, y’know? I miss them already. I miss them a lot."
Poor tortured soul. I have to give him props for his honesty though. But what’s next? Is he going to go home then realize too late that he does love her? Will he come running back to her in slow motion, arms outstretched, with his hair streaming out behind him, and the music swelling against a backdrop of tears?
And what about the other two guys? Will she pick a consolation husband or will she break up with them before it gets that far? Or are they going to break up with her?! Is she going to walk away single, alone, all emo and bitter? WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN? I can’t stand the suspense!
ps...
Dear Two Other Guys Whose Names I Can Barely Remember,
Seems Des just wasn't that into you. Like, at all. Ouch. That's gotta hurt.
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