Some Women Tell Some

What is it with this show and candles. Have you noticed? They're everywhere. 

The ladies looked lovely -- spray tanned and starved, eager to show Sean what he missed out on.

Let's start with what we missed out on.

Krazie B. didn't get to say a word, which is sort of strange since she had a "story" of sorts. What about the 50 Shades of Crazy lady? I mean, c'mon! That was funny! And what about Selma? Apparently the Iraqi is dating the Kissing King himself -- Arie! How's that for irony? 

Some Women Tell Some...

Sarah. Thanks, ABC, for making her (and us!) relive the heartbreak again. However, as sad as that was, quite possibly the truly saddest thing I've ever seen on this show was the eulogy of that sweet puppy.  Now that was heartbreaking.  But back to Sarah... She clapped her stump. Maybe that's why it was so red. Or maybe it's because she kept scratching it all night. 

Desiree. She's got new hair.  She's ready to move on. And Chris called her “very beloved.” In other words, meet the new Bachelorette. 

Tierra. I’m kind of over Little Miss Nevada. In fact, the whole segment was a let down. It wasn't nearly as bloodthirsty as I'd hoped. It feels like yesterday's news.  Besides, we've got a whole new level of crazy in the house!

AshLee. Rocking some serious hair extensions, the girl is bent on re... well, she's just bent.

"Why didn't you come check on me, Sean! You're supposed to be a gentleman! You're supposed to be the man here! And knowing how much I've given to you (exactly how much of what did you give him, AshLee?), to not just say, 'Babe, are you okay?'" Babe? Seriously? What planet are you living on, girl? He just dumped you. He doesn't want to see you!
 

And then... the fight. Sean vs. Pinocchio. It was riveting! Reporters have said that their off camera confrontation went on a lot longer than we got to see, and that she actually told him he's not the man her father is. Yikes.

So maybe he is a little bit of a 'frat boy'. He did take his shirt off for the sorority girls after all. But give the guy a break. He's under a lot of pressure! He's equally in love with two girls, who he's probably spent a total of two weeks with, and has only a couple of days to pick one to marry!

It's almost over, Fellow Time Wasters. Chris said the finale would be the most dramatic and exciting episode of the Bachelor ever until the next one!  Yet, the finale is quite possibly the most boring episode ever. It's always the same. There's a lot of Neil Lane. A lot of voice overs saying everything we've heard for the past nine weeks 16 seasons. A lot of gazing out of windows. A lot of getting dressed. 

Maybe this time will be different.  Maybe it'll be really good. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll pull a Mesnick and cry over a balcony. Maybe that letter won't be something totally lame. Maybe he really will get his Happy Ever After. Maybe!

Until next time!