Thank you for working this week and for recording the first 11 minutes of this week's show.
Dear ABC,
Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you, for filling the first 11 minutes of your show with Sweaty Shirtless Sean. Sean lifting weights. Sean in the shower. Sean on the treadmill. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
I'll bet a marathon make-out at Hollywood Blvd's seedy Guiness museum (of all places) wasn't Lesley's first choice, but she made the best of it. I suppose. Although Chris (who got tons more air time this week. Way to go, Chris!) seemed to be having fun. Our bachelor seems to like this one... gotta remember her name. Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. The girl who oddly looks like him. It's sorta weird. Leslie.
Yay for Chris! He gets to go on another date with a swarm of desperate women in really ugly bikinis. I mean, really ugly. It's a death match of beach volleyball in the sandpit of doom where the losers get sent home sobbing in the Reject Van! I love these dates! "I just (sob) wanted (sob) to have (shuddering sob) more time with him (total breakdown)!" Hehehe.
Seriously, on a side note, I'm still having trouble remembering who these girls are and if I've ever seen them before! It seems to be the same six over and over. There's "Des" Dez? He seems to really like her. Des. Des. Des. Des with the bridal shop business. Des.
Then there's Amanda, with the creepy face, who thinks she's going to bring a "light, airy, fun atmosphere" to their marriage. She's nuts. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda the weirdo. Amanda. Can't wait til she goes home. Amanda.
And, heaven help her, there's Krazie B. Seriously girl? Have you never watched this show? "I don't think he'll tolerate drama, so I'm going to load him up with some vague nonsensical complaining that's going to leave all of America screaming, "Shut up, girl! Are you that stupid?!" Why yes, yes you are, Krazie B. So it's with more than a little relief that we bid you and your wetsuit Rose Ceremony dress, adieu.
Tierra. Tierra. Tierra. Queen of Bitch Mountain, who faked that fall (give me a break), and has either had Botox...
...or is a Klingon.
Tierra. "I'm sorry you fell, but I'm glad we have this time together." Oh, for heaven's sake, Sean! Get your hand off her thigh and get going on your date with AshLee.
AshLee with the big L. AshLee. Former Foster Child. AshLee. Oh, AshLee. You poor thing. You got Magic Mountain all to yourselves (which isn't really all that impressive since Magic Mountain is usually empty anyway. Just sayin'). Just you... Sean... the Mountain... and two very sweet, very sick little girls. So romantic. Right? I'm not mocking this one with a 10 ft. pole. But then... AshLee tells her tragic and touching life story.
Me: She told him her life story... about her new dad promising to love her every day. And Sean cried.
Kristi: He... cried?
Me: Yes! Tears!
Kristi: Sean! Last week I though you said last week you were a man!
I think AshLee is going to be around for awhile (sigh). AshLee.
And finally, Leo. Leo. One Arm Sarah's dog. Leo.
So who's left? Tune in next week, fellow time wasters. Apparently they're serving... chocolate.
Thank you for the LOL about Magic Mountain usually being empty.
ReplyDeleteI think I like that AshLee.
This week, what I found reasonably bizarre was the 3:16 minute kiss.... They didn't seem to have ANY open mouth action....I really watched closely and it was just pucker against pucker as far as I could see....Didn't he learn anything from Ari?
Anyway, as with ALL past bachelors, I have now decided that Sean is big dope.
As for coming attractions....Now that Tierra has fallen, I can't wait to see the Des drama when her boyfriend appears to claim her back.
Thanks as usual Miss Suzie, you are the best!