Rolling with the Punches

Dear Sean,
I’m not quite sure how it happened, but you’re slipping in the polls. People are talking.  I mean, no one – and I really mean no one – is going to complain about how you look in a kilt.  And no one’s going to complain about the camera close up of your boxer briefs during your shirtless stroll into the bathroom (gotta love those opening sequences). 

Check out that hardware -- that's an amazing faucet!

But there is something to be said about your kissing technique.   
I really don’t think you paid enough attention to Arie. Obviously, he went into great detail. You might want to give the guy a call. Just a thought.

And today, someone said you were (whispers)... a mimbo. Well? What do you expect when (while attempting the above) you say, “I’m crazy about her. This girl has everything I’m looking for in a woman,” about every girl? 


Selma gets the first 1-1 date, and just has to let us know she weighs 110 pounds. I hate her. Convinced that the jet and limo mean a luxury date, the "Iraqi gets dumped in the desert" for a fun filled day of rock climbing.  "I don't do heat," she whines. "I feel puffy."  Somehow the princess convinces herself that Sean gives her strength and she slithers up that rock like a monkey (anyone else wonder how they got down?), only to spend the rest of the date in a tacky little mock trailer park. 

And then... the bombshell drops a bombshell. She won’t kiss him. Waaaait a sec. You came on the Bachelor, and you won’t kiss him? Oh, he’ll keep you around for awhile, but ultimately it's just not gonna work.

It's group date time and poor 1-arm-Sarah is in for another day of it.  I mean, c'mon. Who picks these dates? Roller Derby? Poor girl couldn't keep her balance!  I did sort of enjoy seeing Amanda face plant it though. At first, I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying after she fell. (I was laughing). But like a bad penny, Amanda returns, giant teeth and jaw intact. At the very least she could have had the decency to have her jaw wired shut. (Sorry, Amanda dear. No rose for you! p.s. you looked sorta scary at the Rose Ceremony). 

Let's have a caption contest for this picture...
Something! ANYTHING! to explain the dent in her head. It's FREAKING ME OUT!

Meanwhile, Tierra the Tierrable throws a tantrum, steals Sean from the bikini clad Lindsay (who I’ve decided I rather like – especially after she suggested Tierra take up Roller Derby when she leaves Casa Bachelor), and plays our Genetic Gift like a fiddle. A fiddle! And he LOVES it!

"You know what I know?" Sean coos. "You liiiike me, and want to spend more tiiiiime with me." I can just hear Gracie Hart’s sing-songy voice: You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me...

And he gives her the rose! Whaaaat? Sean’s already been pretty clear that he’s not into drama (waves to Krazie B.) so, bottom line? Honey, if you don’t freeze to death next week (one can only hope), then Sean will figure out soon enough that you're a little Tierraist and you’ll be heading home. Tierraific!

Holy Moly, Batman! Leslie H., the Pretty Woman date is all yours. You lucky girl? You got to try on ugly unfortunate dresses in a store "all to yourselves" (which, considering it’s Badgley Mischka on Rodeo, is probably one of those that is by appointment only). But oh my. Leslie H., you’re rather loud and crass. Hey! That’s just like the movie! “I’m a tan Julia Roberts.” Well, you’ve sure got her mouth, I’ll give you that. Seriously, who comes up with these dates? Perhaps you’d have faired better on the trailer park date with the pink plastic flamingos. Better luck next time! “Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!”

Chocolate Robyn. Ummm, yeah. Don’t like you.

Jackie? Who are you? Are you new here?

Yellow hair, green dress… Daniella? Trust me. You're going home next week.

AshLee, I've decided I like you... a lot. You're kind and supportive, and nice.

I like Des too. She's this season's celebrity look-a-like with....

Catherine Bell. You know… JAG? And those Good Witch movies that overrun the Hallmark Channel every other week?

And, Catherine! You sly dog. You’ve been holding out on us! Or, more likely, ABC has been holding out on us. You seem super cute and super sweet, and it’s obvious a lot more has been going on with the two of you that we’ve not seen.  

Anyone else notice the “I want to kiss you” caught on subtitle when he gave her the rose?  Hmmmm… Check out Sean's blog!

It's taken me forever to narrow it down this season, but here are my favorites and picks for the final 4: Lindsay, Des, Catherine, AshLee.

Until next time... Four hours of Bachelor! Too much? Can't wait!