Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Dearest Fellow Time Wasters,

I tried. I really, really tried to stay away.  But since all three of you have asked, here goes….

I like Andi! I really do. She makes me laugh.  Like that weird duck face she makes when she’s concentrating. Or those clothes she tries to keep on. She probably has some major tape rash on her chest for some of those dresses. Or the y’alls she’s saying every other word that she never said last season. Oh! Oh! And like telling the guys it was okay to strip down for charity because she did it (and freaked out about it) last season and it’s okay now! Oh! And getting all upset over one drunk guy.  

Here’s another one… sending a guy home because his name was ANAL! (Seriously though, I know a guy named Emil, and he pronounces it E-meal. Like NORMAL people do.) I guess I can’t fault her for that though. “Hi. I’m Andi and this is my husband, Anal.” Yeah. No.  And like… when she cuts off the cutest guy there, mid sentence no less, so she can read the card on the flowers from another guy! Now that was fun.  Oh! And how she’s constantly saying, “Oh stoooooop.” Seriously. Stop! So yes. I totally love Andi.

Let’s talk about the guys for a second. I think we all agree that this is totally the best looking bunch we've seen in a long time. There are a few odd ones though – like the opera singer. Ew. And the guy who went home last night that looked like PeeWee Herman. 

And this guy....

Who looks like this guy’s little brother.

And the guy who got the waitress’s phone number and is totally lying about it.  He’s sleazy. Why’s he still there?

And then there’s this guy…  

Ew. E.W.  He’s got little feet. Probably. And an icky face.

But then, on the other hand… We've got this guy. 

The bazillionaire farmer. Who other than his large amount of teeth, is really, really sweet. And very cute.  I like him.

And Marquel the Cookie Guy.

And this guy! What’s not to love about this one! (Don’t even tell me because you’re wrong). I like to call him  "Mock" Cuban.

And then… there’s the Dead Guy. Oh my goodness.  Everything Andi and Eric said last night was dubbed. Here’s what really happened….

Andi: I’m so upset that we don’t have more time to get to know one another, because every second I’m with you I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with you.

Eric: I know you are. And you have to keep this poker face on so the other guys won’t know. You have to be like… an actress! And that’s so not you! You’re real and genuine. And it’s killing me that you’re suffering so. I must go.

Andi (crying now). Don’t go! Stay! Let’s get married and have 2.5 children!

So, yeah. That’s what really happened.  Moving right along...

Who are your top three?

So far, mine are:

#1  Josh Cuban

#2  Chris the bazillionaire Farmer

#3  Marquel, The Cookie Guy, because he’s fun.

So who’s going next? The sad guy with the dead brother? The sleaze with the phone number? Mr. Ickly Face? Sean’s little brother? (No, he’s not really his brother. Sheesh.)  One of the others that all look alike? Pick one. It doesn't really matter.

Until next time kiddos. Have a great week!