"¡No quiero pollo!"

Dearest Fellow Time Wasters,

To be quite honest, I don’t remember a whole lot about last Monday’s show due to a fever induced haze, but here’s what I do remember...

Camiiiiilla is a brat.   

Force feeding a screaming kid while they’re lying down is never a good idea. 

I can never tell where Juan Pablo is looking during his interviews. Either his eyes don’t focus or… 

Dear Cue Card Guy, 

Please stand closer to the camera when holding up Juan Pablo’s scripted lines. Thanks.

21-3=18.

I could never be with someone who doesn’t know what a malted milk ball is.

Dear Sean,

I’m sorry for all the times I called you an awful kisser.

Dear Weird Opera Singer Girl with the big eyebrows,

That was the grossest, most disgustingly awful, hideously awkward, and nastiest kiss I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and judging from the reaction of those in the room with me, I’m not alone in my assessment. Ew.

Somehow I hear my mother’s voice, “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump off a bridge?”
Dear Stupid Girl whose ankles are duct-taped to the Venezuelan, 

Just because a guy says, ‘Just do it for me’ and ‘Nothing is gonna happen,’ doesn’t mean you have to do it for him and nothing is gonna happen! Idiot.

The rest is a blur of questionable swimwear, bench kissing?, and bidding adieu to Naked Girl.

Dear Juan Pablo,

What’s 27-14? (27 seconds later)… Oh too bad Juan Pabs. Time’s up. 13. The answer is 13. You’ve got 13 girls left. Try to look a leeetle more interested. Okay?

Don’t forget to watch Sean and Catherine’s wedding this Sunday night, and be sure to take part in our poll to the right!

Until next time!