Highland Fling

Another week, another rose.

I never thought I'd say it (twice, no less), but I really like our Bachelorette! She's got spunk! And germs apparently. This cold is lasting forever.

Travis, you were a good egg. And just like your egg, Emily threw you to the curb and broke your heart (are any of you rolling your eyes?). The temper tantrum with the umbrella in the rain was fun though!

But who cares about that. Who cares about anything else! We have kilts, people! And I’m telling you right here and now (I can’t stop saying that) that I love a man in a kilt. 

Highland Games. Love those. In fact… did you see it? The Genetic Gift not only flipped the log (What! Sheesh!), but he broke it!  "I'm not gonna lie ~ it was impressive," confesses Emily. "Sean looked friggin' hot." 

Seriously. We could have ended the night on just that alone, but then we’d not get to discuss Arie’s kissing techniques, so continue we must…

Dear Chris,
I’m sorry pal, but (whispers) you shoot like a girl. It’s not your best look. Ya know? But Emily thinks you’re “brave” so you get the mug. Whatever. For some reason, Emily thinks you are one of the “kindest, sweetest, most handsome men I have ever met." Again, just…whatever.

Arie. (sigh). I got a text this morning from a friend who said, “OMG! Emily and Arie’s kisses are soooo intense and real! I hope he’s the one! The way he holds her head and the cheek rub with the thumb!” As Emily would say, “I know, right?” 

Dear 1-F,
"You give me the type of feeling that people write novels about." Ummm, what kind of novels like that does a guy read, Jef?

Ryan. "Ryan is kind of a jackass," Chris says. "It takes the guy three hours to get ready. He shaves his legs and plucks his finger hairs and stuff. It's weird." Ew. That is weird. Like a hairless cat kind of weird.  Now if he’d just shave the cockatoo feathers off the top of his head we’d be in business. 

The world’s a pearl and you’re the oyster. Or wait. Is that, you’re the oyster and the world’s the pearl? Honestly, the guy the world would be so much better off if he’d just stop talking. And making lists.  And a big high five to Emily for sticking to her guns (I seriously thought for a minute she was going to cave) and dumping the guy. But did you love the warning he gave to the editing guys? "One thing I definitely hope in all of this is that I am portrayed as who I really am," he says. "For your guys who cut this up, do a good job portraying exactly who I am and not, you know, an arrogant ass." Ryan. Buddy. You didn’t give them a warning… you gave them an invitation.

How do you get rid of a guy who just showed you his grandparents funeral cards that he carries around in his wallet!? You don’t! So save your heavy sighs and eye rolls for another day, Wolf. You’re still with the pack for another week.

Ahhh, Humble Doug the Dad.  When did he become Humble Doug? Did I miss something? It’s like he was more of a clunk head. "You know, that's just the way I... People ask me that, like... I don't know. Um...," he sputtered. "At the end of the day, who should you end up with? Probably me." Uh, probably not, but keep thinking positively, Humble Doug.

 

Are you glad Ryan’s finally gone?

Do you carry funeral cards in your wallets?

Are you as anxious as Ileen must be about Arie’s not so secret past? 

Are you ready to say it’s Team Arie and Team Sean for the win? Or is there a dark horse in the mix?

Until next week!